The Scrumptious Woman

S2 15 From Bullshit to Botox: Real Talk on Beauty, Shame, and Reinventing Yourself After Divorce

• Juliette Karaman / Sandra Lena Silverman • Season 2 • Episode 15

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Welcome đź’–

Hello, scrumptious souls. It’s Juliette here and today I’m joined by the absolutely fabulous Sandra Lena Silverman. You’re in for a treat. Sandra is the author of the brilliantly titled “Bullshit to Botox” and she’s a powerhouse when it comes to honesty about beauty, self-love, and transformation. We’re diving deep into her journey, her book, and the real stories behind the treatments and choices we make as women.

Episode Summary ✨

In this episode, Sandra and I have a raw and open conversation about beauty procedures, self-acceptance, and the journey from people-pleasing to true self-love. Sandra shares how her own experiences, ranging from her first beauty treatment in her twenties to writing her book during a difficult separation, have shaped her outlook. We discuss the pressures women face, the shame often attached to cosmetic choices, and how empowering it is to own our stories. Sandra also opens up about life after a long marriage, dating over fifty, and the freedom that comes from reclaiming your own desires. There’s laughter, a few jaw-dropping moments, and plenty of wisdom you won’t want to miss.

Key Takeaways đź’ˇ

Honesty Heals
Sandra’s openness about her procedures and the reasons behind them is a breath of fresh air. Hiding our choices only feeds shame. Let’s talk about them.

Empowered Choices
Whether it’s a beauty treatment or a big life change, do it for yourself, not to fix someone else’s opinion of you.

The Power of Sisterhood
Women supporting women is at the heart of Sandra’s story. From co-writing her book to sharing expert voices, collaboration is key.

Life After Divorce
Dating again in your fifties can be wild, freeing, and fun. It’s never too late to rediscover yourself.

Body and Mind Connection
True transformation comes from inner work as much as outer change. Prepare emotionally as well as physically for any big shift.

Boundaries and Self-Respect
Sandra’s experiences with relentless DMs (hello, MILF life) remind us to set boundaries and stay true to what feels right.

Resources and Links đź”—

You can find all of the links to connect with Sandra here: https://linktr.ee/Sandrasilverman

If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review and share your thoughts. I love hearing your stories. Have you had a beauty treatment or made a big life change. Let’s keep the conversation going over on Instagram. And remember, you’re scrumptious just as you are, inside and out.

I'd love to hear from you drop me a text!

Don't forget to Rate and leave a review so more people can tune in and the ripple effect spreads further.

[00:00:00] Juliette Karaman: Welcome to this Scrumptious woman, and I have with me a very incredible scrumptious lady called Sandra Silverman. Now, Sandra, you have written this book, which I just frigging love the the name of it. Bullshit to Botox and there's so much more to you, but just when I read that in the blurb, I'm like, okay, I've got to talk to this woman.

[00:00:26] Juliette Karaman: Thank you. I've got to have you on the show. So welcome. [00:00:30]Thank you. Very excited to be here. Thank you very much. I'm super excited. So tell me you help woman. Like with beauty and you're like super honest about all the procedures that you've had, what people should, shouldn't do. You've got like close to 300,000 followers on Instagram.

[00:00:48] Juliette Karaman: So tell me, how did you get into this? What's your story behind this 

[00:00:52] Sandra Lena Silverman: journey? Started in my twenties with my first procedure, and it just went from there. [00:01:00] After a long time of different beauty treatments, different procedures, people started asking me, 'cause I was very honest about, oh, I'm getting this surgery, I've had this surgery, that sort of thing.

[00:01:10] Sandra Lena Silverman: So they would ask me questions and then all of a sudden, like friends of friends started asking me questions and then I thought, you know what, I'll just write a book about it. And that's makes it a lot easier for everyone. Like a guide. And I'll have experts in the book explaining as well.

[00:01:24] Sandra Lena Silverman: So people aren't just thinking that I'm the expert in the book, so Back everything that I've done [00:01:30] with real experts, that's how it started and. I was going through a separation at the time. My husband and I had four separations and we're finally getting divorced. Oh, wow. So at the time, it was a good project to start.

[00:01:44] Sandra Lena Silverman: Because it distracted me from what was going on, and it worked out really well. The book was written pretty quickly. I pretty quickly also realized that I'm not afraid of, so Started with the outline and the [00:02:00] introduction. So I start, set the tone for the book, and then I met Erica Florentine, who's my co-writer, and she's amazing.

[00:02:05] Sandra Lena Silverman: So once we really started, it took about six months. And then of course after it was finished, I didn't have the title. So my friend Haya just had a burst of energy one night at three in the morning, and she came up with 13 titles and subtitles, which was insane. So I woke up the next morning thinking it was like Christmas when I got this list, and then I love it from there.

[00:02:26] Sandra Lena Silverman: We got. That's how from we found Bullshits to [00:02:30] Bottox. So it was actually my friend hire that came up with the title. 

[00:02:33] Juliette Karaman: I love it. But, so really not only that, you did something yourself, but you used your friends and you used a co-writer. And it's, I think that's really just important for women where we can really support each other.

[00:02:44] Juliette Karaman: And I see what you're doing as well is like telling people like, Hey, this is what I've done.

[00:02:49] Juliette Karaman: So often we just look at women and we look at the mean Girls movie. Where they're like backstabbing each other and it's Hey, let's get a tribe of women that actually support each [00:03:00] other. 

[00:03:00] Sandra Lena Silverman: I was really surprised, just how many of the experts, they gave so much of their time.

[00:03:07] Sandra Lena Silverman: They were so nice about it. Everybody worked together so well and everything's explained perfectly. So if you are, whatever procedure you're interested in, it's probably in the book or beauty treatment or whatever. And once women can read that and they can visualize of how the treatment's done, what the effects are, what is, if there are any side effects, [00:03:30] what's the recovery time?

[00:03:32] Sandra Lena Silverman: It just makes it so much easier for somebody to want to get a treatment and not be afraid. 

[00:03:38] Juliette Karaman: Completely. I just had CO2 laser there down. Holy moly. I thought that was gonna be like a little afternoon, treatment? No. Oh my God. For sure not, honestly, I have so much concealer on my neck.

[00:03:50] Juliette Karaman: You can't even, it's still blotchy like a month later look, not sure if I'm gonna go in for my second one. I'll just wait until after the summer. Definitely. [00:04:00] These are the things, right? Because then you Google and you look at stuff and you're like, whoa.

[00:04:04] Sandra Lena Silverman: And it can be scary when you're Googling as well, you're gonna. But yeah, so that's, that was the point of writing the book and also to help people or help women feel empowered where it is. Okay, you could get so many treatments if you want, if that's making you feel better about yourself. And not to be embarrassed because so many women are ashamed or embarrassed, they don't want to talk about it.

[00:04:26] Sandra Lena Silverman: I had two friends that I wanted in the book [00:04:30]anonymously, and neither of them would get interviewed in the book even as. To be anonymous. So 

[00:04:36] Juliette Karaman: it's interesting, right? I found that to be very interesting. So much shame about it. Listen, I've had stuff done. I had four kids, so my boobs like, I had a boob, breast reduction, tummy tuck.

[00:04:48] Juliette Karaman: Oh gosh. Having four kids in three years times not good on your body. I was twice my size. I felt like a beached whale. So yes, I've definitely done some stuff and I just know the looks [00:05:00] that people give you, we've had that done. That done. I'm like, yeah, I'm really open about it as well.

[00:05:05] Juliette Karaman: What I would love to speak about is because even one of my daughters here looked at getting breast implants but just. So often women think that something is wrong with them, and then the surgery or the cosmetic procedure that they're going to do is going to make everything all right. Just like pe people think oh my God, if I have the most perfect partner, then my life is gonna be good.

[00:05:26] Juliette Karaman: Or if I have money, then everything's gonna be good. Could you [00:05:30] speak to that a little bit? 

[00:05:31] Sandra Lena Silverman: Absolutely. I was that person. I was very unhappy in my marriage. My husband started picking on me early on about my body. The first month we were together, he looked at me and said, oh, your body's soft. You should go to the gym.

[00:05:47] Sandra Lena Silverman: And that's the first time in my life that I ever felt like there was something wrong with me, because before that I, no one's ever insulted me, so I just thought, okay, I'm good. I never even, it never even occurred to me that somebody would say those [00:06:00] things. So that's how it started. So I was that person where.

[00:06:04] Sandra Lena Silverman: I didn't feel good enough subconsciously for sure, because I started down this path. There were a lot of procedures. Once I got pregnant with my son, I gained 60 pounds. My husband called himself a beach whale, or called himself a whale watcher, called me a whale. He was the whale watcher. I was the whale.

[00:06:25] Juliette Karaman: Oh man, they can be cruel, right? 

[00:06:26] Sandra Lena Silverman: One little horrible. Like he looked at my weight gain, like it [00:06:30] was an insult to him. So basically after that, I had gotten complete body sculpting. My body looked better than it had. Previous pregnancy. 

[00:06:39] Sandra Lena Silverman: And I still wasn't happy, so I was that person chasing, oh, I'm not good enough.

[00:06:43] Sandra Lena Silverman: He, and eventually there was infidelity, so he was looking at other women and I never left for my own issues that I talk about in my next book. So I was that person. And then over the years I started doing life coaching and [00:07:00] different things to work on myself, like internally. And then I started to really learn to love myself.

[00:07:06] Sandra Lena Silverman: So these procedures, even though I still continued, I started doing them for me and not. Because I felt bad about myself, but I understand what you're saying because I was that person I internally felt terrible about myself and I thought if I can fix this and I can fix this and I can fix this, then I'm gonna feel better.

[00:07:23] Sandra Lena Silverman: But that's not how self-love works. 

[00:07:27] Juliette Karaman: I know it's true because I've coached so [00:07:30] many coach mentors, so many women that are thinking about it, and then I'm thinking, oh my God, it's gonna change everything. And I'm like, let's actually. Prepare you for the operation. Not only your body physically, but mentally and really emotionally.

[00:07:44] Juliette Karaman: When you wake up, I remember I woke up day after the operation, I had a tummy tuck in my breasts reduced. Like I know they took a kilo, so two and a half pounds off each breast. Wow. So it was like, like a full head, and I remember waking up and finally getting out of bed, and I looked in the mirror, I'm like, [00:08:00] oh my God, what have I done?

[00:08:01] Juliette Karaman: I've got no boobs left. So there was so much doubt and there was so much fear that came back into the body. And of course, after anesthetic, having a anesthetic you have all these hormones running through your body anyway with all the chemicals that it was just like that made it a little bit toxic.

[00:08:21] Juliette Karaman: Absolutely. I was like, gosh, I was crying and I hear this from a lot of people where they've had something done and they're not quite prepared for the [00:08:30] change or how. 

[00:08:31] Sandra Lena Silverman: Or their expectations were Yeah. Higher, 

[00:08:36] Juliette Karaman: completely. Yeah. So you've pointed to this a little bit, that you're, you've written a second book and this is all about coming into the spotlight out of your marriage, dating as a 50 plus woman.

[00:08:54] Juliette Karaman: Yes. 

[00:08:55] Sandra Lena Silverman: So the second book, so I allude to the marital problems in for bullshit to [00:09:00] Botox. And that there would be a second book. The second book talks all about my marriage. I have experts in that book as well. My husband is a narcissist and the experts come in and talk about different scenarios and they're analyzing pretty much like how from bullshit to Botox was structured.

[00:09:17] Juliette Karaman: Got it. 

[00:09:18] Sandra Lena Silverman: And after our fourth separation, I started dating. Two weeks after we separated this last time in July, which was such a crazy adventure and journey [00:09:30] because at that point I was 53 years old. I'm 54 now, and dating for the first time after 27 years was different for sure. So I talk about that whole experience plus other people that I've dated up until I think we ended the book.

[00:09:47] Sandra Lena Silverman: Maybe a few weeks ago, so everything that has gone on almost for the past year, and it's been a journey. It's definitely a jungle out there and it's been fun. 

[00:09:56] Juliette Karaman: So what is just one experience that you're [00:10:00] like, oh my God this blew my mind as a woman that, because you hadn't, how long had you been married to your husband?

[00:10:06] Sandra Lena Silverman: We were together for 27 years and Oh my goodness. Wow. Yeah, so a few lifetime, a few lifetimes. So the person that I met after, two weeks later, he was younger than me, Uhhuh, and he worked with my friend. So she had introduced us and I never thought we were gonna connect. I, it just, he's younger. I had no idea what the, what to expect.

[00:10:28] Sandra Lena Silverman: So the first night that we met, [00:10:30] it was an immediate connection and we started seeing each other. And one night was. Probably the best night I've ever had. It was amazing. So we went out with his friend and my friend and we went to dinner. Then we went to a lounge after dinner, and then the two of us ended up on the beach at four in the morning.

[00:10:49] Sandra Lena Silverman: I'm swimming with him in the ocean. Oh, how fabulous. It was so fun. Dangerous, I'm sure, because there's sharks we're, we live in Miami, so there's sharks everywhere. Ah. Oh [00:11:00] gosh. What? And we're swimming in the ocean at 4:00 AM It was the best night I think I probably have ever had in my time. 

[00:11:05] Juliette Karaman: And how did that and feel after 27 years, right?

[00:11:08] Juliette Karaman: To go out on a date with someone completely different and you have such a completely different experience. 

[00:11:15] Sandra Lena Silverman: It. I just felt a lot after all of that time. This person really helped me get over my marriage and we continued this for about five months and he really, I would say, is probably the [00:11:30] number one reason I was able to get over my marriage and 

[00:11:33] Juliette Karaman: Nice.

[00:11:34] Sandra Lena Silverman: Just find myself again. I was wild. I was free. I was. Felt like I was in college again. Basically. 

[00:11:42] Juliette Karaman: Isn't it beautiful that there are men out there that really do respect this woman and can bring out us, all of us again, right? Because we all have these veils on. I talk about reclaiming ourselves a lot. Yes.

[00:11:57] Juliette Karaman: Because there's a lot of our parts that [00:12:00] have just died off, we've cut off because of expectations from husbands, from family, from whatever society, and all of a sudden we're just getting more and more veiled and more and more brace so the body understands, as in the psyche. Of course, I'm a psychotherapist and a hypnotherapist and EMDR therapist, so I understand all of that bit as well, but it also anchors into the body.

[00:12:22] Juliette Karaman: So just to recognize that there are these beautiful souls that somehow. Come on our journey [00:12:30] to give us a little nugget of ourselves back 

[00:12:34] Sandra Lena Silverman: and he just got out of relationship the same time. So I definitely agree that our souls were just connected our energies at that time for both of us. Nice. It helped him get over his relationship.

[00:12:46] Sandra Lena Silverman: It helped him get over my relationship and we had a great time. And I think it's also important, I have to talk about this in the second book for women. Once you separate. Just go out and have fun. It will help instead of, a lot of women want to [00:13:00] wait a year, oh, I want to wait a year or two before, after my divorce or after my separation for whatever reason.

[00:13:07] Sandra Lena Silverman: And it's can be scary, but it can also be really fun. 

[00:13:10] Juliette Karaman: And I think also, what I teach people is like oftentimes, I, my clients have had some sexual trauma and they don't remember it, but when they start working with me, all of a sudden they remember it and they've been in long-term relationships and all of a sudden there's no sex.

[00:13:25] Juliette Karaman: And it's just huh. Yeah. And then these things get triggered. So it's okay, so have you actually [00:13:30] been touched? Either by yourself and actually physical touch, but also just touched by life. Do you know what kind of touch lands, or are you going about intimacy and just about living life in such a quick, rapid way?

[00:13:46] Juliette Karaman: If we look at how, say Tinder swipe left, so right. Look at Instagram and all the TikTok and all the things you know, it's. Two seconds if you don't hook someone's attention. And there's just scroll on. So it's like you [00:14:00] just move on to the next. I know, but it's can we just slow down again?

[00:14:05] Juliette Karaman: And really to be with yourself. So this is what I teach and it's so triggering for, especially for a lot of women because we're so used to. Being the caregiver, being the this being the, that, the perfect wife, the whatever it is, that we tick all the boxes and we do not put on our own oxygen masks. I love that you're really coming to this.

[00:14:29] Sandra Lena Silverman: And that's exactly what [00:14:30] happened. That's exactly what happened for many years. And then I was, it was a different world. I was free, I was, I didn't care about anything. I was having so much fun and, but now I'm back to being more grounded. Just getting back. With myself again, but it's the, it was a lot of fun.

[00:14:50] Juliette Karaman: But that's the beauty of it, right? We don't have to be static in the same way the whole time. We're gonna have a little outbursts, have fun dance, naked it on the beach, whatever. Might not do that [00:15:00] in the States. You get picked up. No, I know. We're lucky that we, you're we're a little bit more, lucky, wet, arrested 

[00:15:06] Sandra Lena Silverman: for sure.

[00:15:07] Sandra Lena Silverman: We were lucky also that night, the first night that I met him was interesting because. For so long, my husband would tell me, I'm not sexually attracted to you. We, he didn't want to be intimate with me. He stopped kissing me probably five years before. Oh, red flag our separation or that final separation.

[00:15:25] Sandra Lena Silverman: So the first night I meet this person who is pretty much a stranger. We [00:15:30] met with my friend and his friend and talked for four hours. Then we went to another for our lounge after that, and then he kissed me. And I didn't even know what to expect because I'm looking at this person like, wait, why is he kissing me?

[00:15:45] Sandra Lena Silverman: My husband hasn't kissed me in so long. Is there something wrong with him? Mindset. It was crazy. Like why would I feel like that? But because I felt my husband didn't kiss me. Why is this person kissing me? What's wrong with him? And what did it feel like? It was so [00:16:00] strange. What was like, you hadn't kiss in years.

[00:16:02] Sandra Lena Silverman: It was amazing. Amazing. We connected right away. There was so much chemistry with this person. There was such a connection. We literally connected immediately that night. 

[00:16:11] Juliette Karaman: Isn't it beautiful? It was if you haven't kissed, if you hadn't had like the kind of touch that you want, and then all of a sudden it, it works.

[00:16:19] Juliette Karaman: It's like fireworks almost, right? It was, and I see also that's where often people get hooked, so I'm, yes. And I'm sure you know this and you have people reach out to you about that. So [00:16:30] tell me a little bit, what do people, I mean you've got loads of followers, so what do people slide into your dms for?

[00:16:39] Juliette Karaman: What are the fun ones or what's one that you're like, oh my God, I can't believe they do this.

[00:16:43] Sandra Lena Silverman: I get so many messages from younger guys. Nonstop. And these guys are in their twenties. Hello MILF No, I know. And I message back and I'm nice about it, but I message back and [00:17:00] I tell them like 20, it's just way too young and my kids, the two guys in particular that have messaging me nonstop for months, probably almost for the past year.

[00:17:10] Juliette Karaman: Oh wow. 

[00:17:11] Sandra Lena Silverman: And I've told both of them 'cause they're a few years older than my kids that absolutely not am not interested. I'm appreciative. Thank you very much for. Reaching out, but I can't your attention. But it's, these guys are relentless. They are relentless. So that's probably the funniest that I get [00:17:30] in my dms.

[00:17:31] Sandra Lena Silverman: But then I also get a lot of questions from women, and I'll talk about those questions on Instagram. So it's nice because I'll get questions about beauty or relationships. And then I'll talk about, we'll put the question on. The post, the reel and then I'll answer. So Excellent. I do get a lot of questions from women that have either read the book or are watching my Instagram or know about my second book.

[00:17:56] Juliette Karaman: I love it. And Sandra, how do people work with you? [00:18:00] Do you do coaching or is it just through your books and Instagram? What's the scoop? Yeah. 

[00:18:04] Sandra Lena Silverman: Just through the Instagram. I don't really do. I don't have a coaching service set up. But I'll answer anybody's question, so anybody that messages me, either in Instagram or my website, I'm very open and I love getting questions and so I'll answer the questions, but I don't really have a specific coaching platform.

[00:18:27] Juliette Karaman: Love it. By the way, I did [00:18:30] love your video for. Bullshit to Botox. Oh my God. That cracked me up of 

[00:18:35] Sandra Lena Silverman: the movie. The book trailer. 

[00:18:37] Juliette Karaman: Yes. The trailer is Sandra Lena SilvermanSandra Lena Silverman amazing. You guys haven't watched it. It is absolutely fabulous. Thank you. I loved it. Thank you. It was fun. 

[00:18:49] Sandra Lena Silverman: It was. That was really fun. It 

[00:18:50] Juliette Karaman: was really fun to, it was really fun.

[00:18:52] Juliette Karaman: How did 

[00:18:52] Sandra Lena Silverman: you come up with that though? Idea? I love 

[00:18:54] Juliette Karaman: the title on my list. I 

[00:18:55] Sandra Lena Silverman: did. I have the most amazing photographer that I work with, his name is [00:19:00] Andres. Yeah. And his. So he set up, we set that up at this hotel called the ana, and it was pretty much his vision for the trailer. And then we had an amazing videographer, so it was his vision, and he gave me a list of what to bring that day, which was a wheelchair and bandages and threads, and I had no idea.

[00:19:26] Sandra Lena Silverman: That's amazing. It worked out so well. Once we put the video, we had all [00:19:30] these clips. I'm like, this is perfect. This is what I want the book trailer to look like. And the videographer did. It was the first time he had done a book trailer. 

[00:19:38] Juliette Karaman: It was amazing. It was, honestly, that had, I watched it probably three times on year one.

[00:19:43] Juliette Karaman: Thank you. I'm like, oh my God. It's so funny and it's also so real because yes, I've had threads on too, and you look at yourself and you're like, oh, okay. Not sure about my eyebrows. If there's supposed to be that. Just it's hilarious. Everything that, that, that little clip, I don't know what is it, a [00:20:00] minute or maybe even less uhhuh, but just how it portrays.

[00:20:03] Juliette Karaman: Everything that you may want to know in the book. So yeah. Thank you. It's super cool. Thank you so much. Sandra. Tell me how do people find you? I know we'll put everything in the show notes, but just thank you. Let them know your website and your Instagram or whatever. That's perfect. Social media, 

[00:20:20] Sandra Lena Silverman: Instagram is at Sandra Silverman.

[00:20:23] Sandra Lena Silverman: My website is sandra silverman.com. Just makes it easy. And the book is sold [00:20:30] on Amazon and Barnes and Noble and the book is sold. There are a lot of platforms that it's sold on as well in the uk, so if they just Google the book, there are a lot. There are different platforms in the UK as well, 

[00:20:41] Juliette Karaman: of course.

[00:20:42] Juliette Karaman: Now I'm really interested if you know your things are also available here in the uk 'cause some of the things that's available in the States isn't available here yet because whatever

[00:20:51] Sandra Lena Silverman: that, I'm not sure about all the procedures, but. There's pretty much something. 90% 

[00:20:57] Juliette Karaman: would probably be, yeah, the same I'm sure, worldwide.

[00:20:59] Juliette Karaman: [00:21:00] I'm sure. Definitely. Sandra, it's been an absolute pleasure. Thank you so much for coming on the show. Thank you so much. 

[00:21:06] Sandra Lena Silverman: This has been amazing. Thank you. Thank you so much for waiting 

[00:21:09] Juliette Karaman: me. 

[00:21:10] Sandra Lena Silverman: Thank you.

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Juliette Karaman

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