S2 13 The Power of Saying No: Reclaiming Your Boundaries and Inner Safety

Welcome, my lovely! 🌟

In this solo episode, I felt called to share something deeply personal and impactful with you. After being a guest on two podcasts today, so much clarity came through that I just had to sit down and record this episode for you. 💖

✨ Episode Summary
So often, we’re caught up in the busyness of life that we forget to listen to ourselves—our bodies, our emotions, our needs. In this episode, I guide you through a beautiful practice to help you reconnect with yourself, create safety in your own being, and honour your boundaries. Whether it’s saying “no” when you mean it or recognising the times you’ve overridden your intuition, this episode is all about reclaiming your power and tuning into your body’s wisdom.

💡 Key Takeaways

• The power of a sacred pause: How taking a moment to slow down can help you reconnect with your inner self.
• A simple yet transformative somatic anchor practice: I’ll walk you through this step-by-step to help you feel safe and grounded.
• The importance of boundaries: Why saying “no” when you mean it is crucial for your emotional and energetic well-being.
• Recognising override moments: Reflect on the times you’ve said “yes” when you really meant “no” and how to shift this moving forward.

🛠️ Resources & Next Steps
I’ve created a quiz to help you uncover how often you say “yes” when you really mean “no.” My daughters recently took it, and even they had some powerful realisations! Take the quiz and let me know what comes up for you—your insights mean so much to me.

💬 Let’s Connect!
I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences after listening to this episode. Drop me a message or share your reflections on social media—I’m here to support you every step of the way.

Much love,
Juliette 💕

• Touch: https://feelfullyyou.com/touch-o-meter
• Pleasure Touch Playdate: https://bit.ly/PleasureTouchPlaydate
• Find out more about Juliette Karaman here: https://feelfullyyou.com
• Follow Juliette on instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/juliettekaraman/
• Follow Juliette on Facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/juliette.karamanvanschaardenburg

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Juliette Karaman: Hello my lovely today. It is me alone. I have been on two podcasts today, and so much has come through that. I decided to have a little solo podcast today.

[00:00:18] So often we don't take the time to listen to ourselves, to listen to our bodies and what came through very clear [00:00:30] and not just the messages and not just the podcast that I did today, but in life itself is that often we're just so busy. Doing that, we don't tap into what we actually need. Now, I know in Spain and Portugal actually being online was impossible yesterday.

[00:00:52] So for some people that meant taking a pause, taking that beautiful sacred pause and recognizing where we [00:01:00] may be saying yes to things that ultimately. We may not be saying yes to if we had touched base with ourselves a little bit more. Now I know that you listeners know my kinesthetic anchor and that really has helped.

[00:01:21] Hundreds of people now create safety in their own skin, in their own being. So I'll take you through this so [00:01:30] that you actually know this. I know it's one of the things that I give you away, but I'm also wanting to give it to you here. Today and now. So I want you just to check in with yourself, right?

[00:01:41] We're touching base with ourself. We're recognizing where are we maybe holding onto some emotions. Where is there maybe tightness? Where are the thoughts that are racing? And just recognise them. Take a breath in through your nose. And out through your mouth. And then I [00:02:00] want you to put your thumb and your pointer finger together ever so slowly, really slowly, having them touch all the way.

[00:02:15] And just hold you notice that your breath may just slow down a little bit. It might feel like an exhalation and for people, especially people that have some kind of trauma, and what I mean with trauma is anything that happened [00:02:30] too soon too fast or either are body or are psyche to recognise being still and being slow, like this may actually be quite triggering and it might bring up more tightness.

[00:02:46] So stick with this. We're only doing this for less than two minutes, so recognise and just breathe. This is an [00:03:00] anchor to know that you are safe. Now, there is no lion. Behind you. There are no tigers poaching you trying to to get to you. All right? And then slowly start rubbing your fingers together, but ever so slowly so you can feel every single ridge of your finger, and again, this may be [00:03:30] uncomfortable for some you may be used to going so fast that putting your attention on your own skin, and let's put your attention on the thumb. What does it feel like to receive the touch from your index finger? You feel the heat where the fingers are touching. When you slowly, ever so slowly rub your fingers, can you feel those [00:04:00] little ridges?

[00:04:02] What's happened to your breath? What's happened to the bracing that you may have had, and just to recognise that you are safe now, we're using meridian points that we use in EFT as well. So the more that you do this, and you can actually wire in this, the somatic anchor touch base. [00:04:30] That you are safe, the more that you can use this one, say that you're checking out an intimacy.

[00:04:38] Say that you're in a car and someone comes in front of you. Just tap your fingers together ever so slowly and recognise where you can just start to downregulate your nervous system to not have to scan in the room and see if there's any danger. All right, so [00:05:00] that was a few minutes. Go ahead and take your hand down.

[00:05:08] And I want to really honour the fact that this may have been uncomfortable, beautiful practice, and it can be uncomfortable. And I want you just know that we all have this intuitive knowledge with our body. And we [00:05:30] override it. And it may not have even been us that overrode it, but our parents, like, think back to maybe you were younger, maybe you were like three or four, and an uncle or an auntie or someone came into the house and your parents wanted you to go and hug them and everything in your body and being is saying, oh, you're.

[00:05:57] Retracting from that, you're like, no, don't want to [00:06:00] do that. Think back. Did that ever happen to you? Did you know instinctively that you didn't want to be hugged by this person and yet you did it because that was expected from you? Or maybe it was a mother or a father or a grandparent that said, come on, maybe you're a parent yourself and you have to urge your kids to go and hug someone.

[00:06:26] So I want us to really become aware of [00:06:30] how often we override our nos and in the coaching and mentoring and therapy world. We talk about no as a full answer, but I want you to look back at this week, how many times have you said yes to something that you may have not wanted to? Perhaps it's your boss asking you to work a bit later [00:07:00] and instead of keeping to your standards, saying That doesn't work for me tomorrow, I'll, um, I'll come back.

[00:07:09] I'll do it first thing tomorrow morning, or I'll come five minutes early and, and do it tomorrow. But where may you have said yes without thinking? And then afterwards getting upset and thinking he never listens to me. And why did I say less? And then you're in [00:07:30] this shame spiral thinking, projecting, beating yourself up about it and just to recognise that it is something that we do all the time.

[00:07:46] Your partner may have approached you, for a kiss. Didn't really feel nice and you still went ahead. Maybe you were invited out somewhere and you were [00:08:00] really looking forward to having a bath or going for a walk, and yet you felt obligated. Maybe a friend of yours is in town from a, from somewhere far from abroad, and you booked in this date for a long time ago.

[00:08:20] And all that you want to do is just snuggle under the covers and maybe read a really good book, and yet [00:08:30] you go see them and then kind of notice where everything felt a little bit flat. Now, all of these are things that I'm sure. Any of us may have experienced and it's completely cool. And sometimes we do need to do things that we don't always want to, 

[00:08:53] I'd love to give people, , a more kinesthetic way, a more a way of [00:09:00] really tapping into your body when your body says yes and when your body says no. Because the more that we say no to certain things, the more. Other things really start showing up for you. When you say no to something which is not energetically aligned, which actually just your whole body is like bracing and you go ahead and do it, then you're telling yourself your [00:09:30] intuition, your body that.

[00:09:33] Your no is not important. It can be overridden, and this is something that I see with parents. This is what I see in my couples. This is what I see in my coaches that often had some kind of trauma, so something that happened too soon, too fast, too quick, and. Oftentimes it's sexual because that's what people come to me for, and other kinds of trauma too.

[00:09:59] But it may [00:10:00] have been the way that someone looked at you and that loaded into your body and that didn't really feel good, or the way that a hand grazed your, your leg or touched your bum on the tube, on the metro. On in the underground. And you froze, but you didn't say anything.

[00:10:26] There are so many micro moments where [00:10:30] we have felt the no and we haven't acknowledged it,

[00:10:40] so I want you just to become aware of it. What were the moments this week?

[00:10:48] Where did you say no? Where did you say yes to a cup of tea while you actually really wanted a cappuccino? Where were the[00:11:00]

[00:11:01] ways that you just went ahead with something when it didn't really feel good? I want you to just take a moment, think about them. The judgment. And then notice how can you adjust, right? How often can we actually just say, no, that doesn't suit me. And how often do we then adjust? Like say your partner comes in for a kiss and you really say don't want it.

[00:11:28] Just say, Hey, [00:11:30] darling love a kiss. And at the moment I'm not feeling it. How about we connect when I'm done for the day? And really that means by checking in with yourself with what feels really aligned and juicy for yourself at that moment or what, what you have bandwidth for, what you have capacity for.

[00:11:54] And so often we, we override our capacity and we just go ahead with it because it's just [00:12:00] easier than to go whole discussion, but recognise what do I have the bandwidth for? Not right now. Can we speak about it later? Can't stay longer for work? No. Do we want to go into an explanation? No, I can't because I'm picking up my children.

[00:12:20] Does it really matter? Do you have to give the explanation or can you be with your now? Simple [00:12:30] exercise. Not easy.

[00:12:35] If you want to know more about this, I will post a quiz in the show notes and really to recognise how often do we say yes when we mean, no, I made this with my daughters this weekend, or I made it before and then I had them. Go through it and they're both [00:13:00] 24 and they got so much out of it. They're like, mommy, yeah, actually I often do that.

[00:13:06] And they're not all the way, like constantly saying yes, not all the way. Like, yes, I do that, but they got a lot out of it. So I would love you to take that quiz and anything that comes up, please let me know. Much love.